It's been almost two weeks since I've updated this thing.  My memory is a bit hazy.  A week feels like an eternity.  Since last time I finished off with Power Supplies, only 4 more exams to pass and 6 more wednesdays to go before I'm out of this nightmare and into a slightly less worse one.  

I cleaned up facebook to get rid of the people who give me headaches, had a nice chat with syl and saw ingrid using skype last night.  I think I'll use more of that, it's great.  It's like I'm sitting there with them except I'm stuck in the computer.  Concerning the master's degree - I've decided to start it up in the fall instead of waiting until I'm 3s qualified and hoping the military will pay for it.

It has nothing to do with my job, so I don't think they'll pay for it.  I know I'm barely making it now, but I feel by August/September I'll have enough money to afford to start one course.  The housing market in Victoria has collapsed and prices have gone back to 2007 levels - that basically means the house has depreciated by about 50,000$ in 4 months.  Selling it is unwise now, so is never seeing my family again, and so is renting.  What I'll have to do is wait until I'm 3s qualified and hope I'm posted back to Victoria, if not then we'll have to rent it out and take the financial hits and wait for things to improve.  If we cannot find a renter then I'll have to sell to break even - my hope is that things will have come around by next year.  The house was meant to be an investment - I planned originally to live there slightly over one year - it's been 3 now.  Well, all plans are slaves to chaos - and my old friend chaos killed that one. 

I feel the markets will slip hit rock bottom in fall with single family homes going for around 300,000 (meaning they dropped about 25%) and staying there for approximately 5- 6 years before another economic upswing. 

Oh yes, my grandmother died this week.  She was a great woman, and I'll miss her very much.  I am very glad I got to see her while she was alive (sorta), and I believe she heard me when I visited and got to say goodbye.  Still, she made it to 80 years old, with diabetes and a bad heart.  I feel bad for my granddad - I hope he can get over this and enjoy life a little more before he goes.  Death is a horrible abomination - however the pain from it is worth the joy you get from the relationships that make living worth it.   It is perhaps a secret of life that the relationships we have with others - the good and the bad times, is what defines us as emotional irrational animals. 

It was great to visit my old home and see family.  Actual people related to me!  I've changed a lot over the last 5 years - or they have.  Everyone is now old.  Old and short.  

I should probably take a shower then head out to print off some businessey things and get to work.  Ha - I almost thought I would be bored today. 

Sunday evening, where I feel the crushing pain of looking forward to another week here.  I watched the rest of the first season of Boardwalk Empire - a great series with plenty of sex, violence, boozing and sleezing.  I do look forward to season 2 coming out.  Friday night was uneventful, my pool game improved a bit. 

I've been inspired in a dream on where to focus the sales of my kinda current business development gig.  Originally I planned it to just be military or government focused, however I think this is one worth approaching - though establishing contact may take a year or so.  One can dream anyway but it is unwise to take a dive into this when one has a family to support. 

This week I have not much to look forward to other than a dress inspection on Tuesday and a parade Friday.  And by looking forward to that I mean looking forward to having it gone. 

I've decided to try being a hermit for the next while - I've grown tired of people and I feel I'm better off isolating myself from them until my situation demands change.  Why bother contacting and talking to people who never contact me? 

I've given up on beating Dark Forces after this stupid part in the game where I'm supposed to run to the end of a hallway before the doors close shut and I've been unable to beat that part.  I tried supreme commander 2 and it was ... okay ... I guess, but don't plan on playing it again for a long while. 

Friday the 13th. The exam was passed and started power supplies - probably the toughest part of this course.  I asked to get out of the wing senior thing two weeks ago and heard I may be out of this room yesterday but nothing happened.  Money wise things are terrible and will remain so for the foreseeable future.  All of the extra money I had got paid on the 15th went towards credit cards.  Nor do i have anything to visit home on the next long weekend.  maybe ill get to see my family in July - who knows.  I've spent enough time complaining about that stuff - as I said a few weeks ago I'll just internalize it and see what happens, because complaining about it to others doesn't seem to help.  

The extra working out all the time and no desserts are not showing any real improvements on me.  I lost 5lbs but kinda stuck there.  Energy level though is going up so I can work out harder.

Tonight i may play some pool again but really i am very tired and just want to cease participation in the act of living.  One other person has left the class, probably two soon.  Anyway I need some sleep and there is a meeting I have to attend now so who knows maybe I'll add something later. 

I find things are just better if I just accept the fact I'm already dead.  I learned that the Army culture is just like prison or high school - that cliques are very important.  There were two quizzes this week, both which I barely passed and so I'll have to study a lot tomorrow if I'm going to get beyond this course. 

I've been exercising daily and have been seeing some results after two weeks.  I think yesterday effectively killed any more desire I had to go out to clubs.  Had I known how bad this place was I would have avoided it.  There is no early escape.